The difference between meant to be and chose to be

Having a dream and losing it...watching it disintegrate infront of your eyes. 

Chances are it's happened, is happening or will happen to the majority of us throughout our life time. I find myself wondering... Is that fate? or is that we didn't try hard enough. In a situation such as this it's always easier to believe it wasn't meant to be. There are times when we simply cannot contemplate the option that it's because we didn't fight hard enough for what we wanted... that we simply let it slip through our fingers. On some level it's reassuring to believe that things are out of our hands. It relieves us from the burden of responsibility and blame. Fate can be considered a form of denial or wishful thinking whereby even if we had tried harder or had more courage then the results and consequences would have been the same. 

But does that mean that when we choose to believe in fate, we are naively shying away from the truth and using fate as an excuse to evade  the risk of being open and honest with ourselves????

No

I wouldn't go that far because I know that believing in fate isn't always a state of denial and wishful thinking but rather it can be a hope or belief that there is good in the world. Fate offers hope for a better tomorrow and reassurance that we have a purpose and a destination. It is an inspiration and a drive for some to move forward, to build different dreams and to go about their lives in a happy manner. 

There is a part of me that believes in fate because it's my way of accepting that bad things happen for a reason. But there is another part of me that is absolutely terrified by the thought that I have no control over the different aspects of my life. There are times when I feel that believing in fate is admiting that my own ambitions, dreams and wishes are meaningless and so are my endeavors to reach them.  To a certain degree they are, if as they say 'whatever will be will be'. 

As I question the concept of fate...I can't help but think... did I choose to be the person I am and the life I am now living or was it just handed to me by fate because it was meant to be? 

I think that there are many aspects of my life that were down to my choices but then I cannot cut fate out of the picture completely because not everything was my fault :P I guess fate gave me a push in what I hope is the 'right direction'. 

So what's the difference between meant to be and chose to be??

It depends on your perspective...

You can choose to believe that you are in the place you are now because of your own actions, choices and decisions.

or you can believe that you were meant to be in the situation you are now as part of the greater plan. 

I'm not vain enough to say that there is a right answer or way of thinking. 

All I can say is that maybe we are meant to meet a certain somone, reach a certain destination or become a particular person. But we cannot deny that we choose many things in our lives, that our free will is there. That we do have the power to follow our dreams if it is our true desire. I choose to believe that there are things that are meant to be but I also believe I have some control over the things that matter to me.