I'm dreaming

Dream On... Just don't imagine they'll all come true.
Billy Joel

I woke up this morning, feeling good...feeling happy.

There's something I want, there's something I really want... I'm not naive enough to believe I will get it or that it will be easy but I'm now brave enough to dream. I'm reaching for it, I don't know if I can get to it but I'm dreaming, hoping praying that someday I will.

Sharing a thought

I realized something today.

I want to travel the world with someone I love...

Maybe this is fara3' 3atefy speaking......but then again maybe it's not :D

Ana mostawrada..?

For those of you who know me I'm not exactly the most patriotic person in the world.


I don't go crazy when Egypt wins a football match.


My Arabic reading level and vocabulary is probably that of a 12 year old.


I am convinced that it's right to '2ste3'ata' and not '2t3'ata' and to ride '3ala the bus' not 'fl bus'. :D


I'm still not quite sure what is Ali baba's story but vaguely know about some guy called Goha.


There are times when I find it hard to understand and relate to Egyptian culture. Most of the time I don't have the will to even try and comprehend it.


So I can understand why I would be labeled as 'mostwarada'. I can see where it comes from and I guess to a certain extent it is true.


But give me some credit. :) How else would I have turned out to be? 3 years ago the only memories I had of Masr were simply those of me going to the sa7el playing in the sand and swimming in the sea. I wasn't actually exposed to anything else.


I've always felt that those around me have a stronger Egyptian identity and connection to their country. I thought that I didn't feel anything towards Masr...that it was just a holiday resort or a transit to my final destination.


What I feel is simple. Masr is home. Ana masreya not mostawrada. I guess some may feel I don't deserve the 'title' or that it doesn't suit me. Fair enough. There was a time I felt the same...or at least thought I did. But you know what? :D


It says on my passport born in Egypt. It's the place where I took my first steps and spoke my first words.


In England I chose to register my nationality as Egyptian.


I love molo5eya.


My British friends say I'm Egyptiany and claim I smell of sand.


I feel home sick if I'm gone longer than 2 weeks.


I secretly cried every time we left Masr to go back to England after the summer holiday had ended.


If god blesses me with children... I would like them to live their childhoods in Masr.

Dear World...

WORLD....what do you want from me?
Demands, obligations, promises, hopes, dreams...are these things I'm meant to have? How much longer can I keep giving? How much more can I take?


I don't know.


I'm not sure if I can be what people want me to be. I'm not sure if I can even be the person that I want to be. I'm changing that's a fact but into what??? I simply have no idea.


I shouldn't be carrying the burdens I willingly put on my shoulders. But I do. Because that's who I am. I do what I do, because sometimes I feel I'm the only one who cares. Sometimes I'm the cause and I can't fix what I've done. My sense of obligation takes over to at least take responsibility and carry as much of the burden as silently as I can. Most of the time it's just because I care too much.


I don't want much from you world. I just want happiness. I'm not expecting it on a silver platter. I just hope it won't be much longer because I don't know how long I can last feeling like this.